Thursday, March 5

A Time To Reflect...

It's that time of year again... 5 years ago, my Mum went to be with the angels... It's not so much a sad time for me anymore... but more of a contemplative time... A time to just take a moment out and remember her and all the things she taught me while she was with us and the lessons she still continues to teach me now.

My mum was mostly a stay-at-home-mum ... Honestly, that term doesn't seem to give her justice, because she was so much more that that... she was our chef, our chaueffeur, confidante, disciplinarian, seamstress, handyman, financial manager... and the list goes on. She stayed at home with us full time until my brother was a few years into primary school. She valued her role as primary carer of us children, took care of our family in the day-to-day way that only mums do... watched me and my 2 siblings grow up, nurtured us and taught us to believe and have confidence in ourselves. She returned to work part-time as a great example to show us that women can work and help to provide financially for the family too. She taught me so much through her words (and gee, I can smile and remember that she had a wonderful gift for constant nagging too as all mothers do... I believe I am beginning to inherit some of that now as well!)... But I I think she taught me more from her actions... Her selfless way of just doing things because they needed to be done... of never seeking attention for herself... of encouraging us to do things together as a family (which at the time, I did not "get" but now in my much older age, I am so ever grateful and appreciative of those memories).

By far, it is these memories of her staying at home and being there for me during my childhood that I treasure most. Which brings me to Today. The Now. The Present Day. My mum is by far a large part of why I choose to be a stay at home mum. Yes, I am fully aware that we are blessed that I do not have to return to work to help to financially support the family. But, my underlying reasoning for staying at home with my daughter is based one basic truth.

Life is short.

I did not truly understand these three words until this day five years ago... My mum never got to see her 50th birthday. She never got the chance to be a grandmother. She didn't get to see my sister get married, nor my brother turn 18.
But for all these things that she did miss out on, there are so many things that she did get to see in our life.... Our first smile, our first laugh, our first steps, our first day of school, all the activities that accompany childhood like sports days, musicals and concerts... She was there for us and she gave us our foundation for becoming decent human beings in society.

And therein lies the reason why I stay at home with Elizabeth. I want to see all her little milestones... I want be there for her just like my mum was there for me. I don't want to miss out any of this time, because who knows what life has in store just around the corner. In 20 years time, I hope she will look back fondly and remember the times we have spent together... (*Disclaimer - I totally respect and admire working mothers... they have a tough job juggling it all... I understand that sometimes people need to work to be able to provide for their family. I'm just writing this from my perspective and my circumstances.)

Mum, I'm thinking of you and loving you every day... You still influence me in my choices today... and I just try my best to be as good a mum to Elizabeth as you were to me. Love you always. xo

Mum's 5 Year Anniversary


Anonymous said...

That was beautiful Clara. Your mum is watching you everyday from heaven and she would be so proud of you. You are a fantastic mum, and if oneday I'm lucky enough to have children I'll be coming to you for advice :). Love you lots...



Jen said...

Lovely post Clara and she sounds like a wonderful woman. From your blog posts can i just say that your love for Elizabeth shines through and you sound like a wonderful sahm :)

Maria said...

Wow, I am totally speechless. Clara, thank you for sharing. Your Mother's amazing light shines through you and your beautiful family. She is an inspiration to us all.