My heart is walking around outside my body...

There is a quote that I read a while ago that goes -

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
Elizabeth Stone


Never a truer quote could have reflected the way I felt this morning... We had a slightly out of routine morning in that we had to drop of Phan at work as he was car-less (his car is in for some minor repairs)... So we had to wake poor Beth up at 7:20am (she could slept longer... she had such a big day at kindy yesterday and went to bed early (for her!) at 8:30pm...)... but she happily ate her breakfast in the car... and then we got home and she got to watch one episode of Playschool before we got dressed and ready for kindy...

I'd been told to "go away Mummy" twice this morning... once when I woke her up to leave (she was tired and wanted to keep sleeping) and then I got told to "go away Mummy... I brush my teeth by myself"... Gee, she was little miss independent this morning!

So we got to the childcare centre and as usual she insisted on wearing her Little Miss Sunshine bag (she has wanted to do this every day we've gone to kindy) and then she traipsed up the steps all by herself, for the first time not wanting to hold my hand and walking excitedly ahead of me... I was so proud to see her becoming more independent, but so nostalgic at the same time... my little girl is growing up...

We got there, put her back in her locker, then she said to me "Can I go and play?" and I said, "Yes, you can... off you go!" and then I put her lunch and afternoon tea in the fridge had a quick chat to Shona her teacher... Elizabeth had already gotten comfy on some cushions on the floor with one of her new friends Kayla and they were reading books together and chatting... so I went up to her, asked her if she was okay to stay at kindy by herself (to which she replied "uh huh"), said to her I'd be back to pick her up after afternoon tea, told her I loved her and gave her a kiss on the cheek... She watched me leave through the sliding door and waved goodbye and that was it... no tears... no separation anxiety... I was shocked and amazed... To think, a year ago I couldn't leave her line of sight without her freaking out ... even 6 months ago, I couldn't leave her at playgroup with one of the other mum's watching her to get something from my car, she had to come with me.... My goodness, how far she's come... she's so brave... I had some tears in my eyes as I left, but I was so relieved that she didn't cry ...

I rang the centre to check Elizabeth had settled in okay at 11am and Shona told me she was fine... she'd done some painting and was at that moment singing Happy Birthday with a pretend cake with Kayla...

So I picked up Elizabeth at 3pm (I had planned on 2:30pm, but I got held up with an insurance claim phone call - I had a prang last weekend in a car park when I was reversing out of a carpark spot and about to move forward when a huge ute backed into the passenger door on the right side and left a huge dent in the door and rendered it unable to be opened. Even though the other guy admitted fault, the insurance company on seeing the damage and a diagram of the incident has said that each party is responsible for their damange... so I had to put an insurance claim in... bugger... annoying, but it was a minor accident and at least Elizabeth and I weren't injured)... She looked like she had had fun at kindy (wasn't upset or anything) and when she saw me she said "Mummy came back!" and excited came over and gave me the biggest hug! The afternoon teacher Andrea (who is also the director of the centre) said Elizabeth had been fine and just lovely... so that was a relief. She also wanted me to carry her back to the car, so I picked her up and carried her for a little bit, but then got her to walk, 'cos she's getting heavy!

She told me about her day... and from what I've deciphered from her bits and pieces she did some drawing... and painted a caterpillar (with "a long body, legs and 2 antennae"... ) and listened to a story about a boy and a dragon... She also did show-and-tell and brought her rainbow book along to show everybody (the one with the ribbons in it that Auntie Bec got her for her 1st bday) Also during nap time, I think they listened to a Disney CD because she keeps singing the opening song from the Lion King... LOL...

She's now having some chillout downtime and some more afternoon tea in front of Playschool (no nap again for her... but I'm not surprised)

So here we are... I've left my baby in the big world by herself for the first time... the start of a new chapter... And I know now a bit how my mum must have felt on my first day of school... apparently, I was itching to go to school and was pushing mum out the door and telling her to go home ... LOL... my poor mum! So, Elizabeth must have inherited a little bit of my personality... :)

I'll have to be more productive on her kindy days in the future and stop moping around the house... I think I'll book myself in for a haircut next week.

And I can't post without a photo... so another outtake from last month of my big, grown-up girl twirling and spinning...